Well to say that this has been some kind of a week is quite the understatement. In case you have not heard yet I have been having some health problems. On Sunday evening I started having some muscle spasms on the left side of my body. Monday morning had me in the emergency room. Since then I have had a MRI, I have been poked for blood 7 times, I have done multiple mobility tests and so far I have one name to put to everything “Chorea-Athtosis”. This is not really a diagnosis but more of a description of my symptoms. That means we know what I am doing but not 100% sure why I am doing it. The neurologist said this is most certainly a genetic predisposition but what caused it to come to the surface all of a sudden is the question. I am starting on a couple of different drugs to see if I can get things balanced out and stop shaking. The doctor is confident that will happen eventually but can’t give time frames. I go back to the doctor on Friday for more tests. I’m getting my very first brain scan. How exciting. In the mean time I am supposed to avoid any kind of stress. He doesn’t want me to work, do heavy exercise (as if that was really an issue), and basically I should just lay low.

I know I should be really glad that the MRI came back clear and my blood test didn’t show anything bad. So at least what I have is not life threatening. But when I am in the midst of typing and my body is shaking all over and I have to retype every other word because I shake too much I must say I am finding peace to be far from me right now. Sherawn told me about a woman who mentioned in regards to my issue that the Apostle Paul said that we need to be content in all situations. In that I don’t disagree we should be content in all situations. I do worry however that too many times Christians use that verse as an excuse to roll over and play dead or “just get over it”. If Paul when writing his letters to the various churches and friends (quite often from prison) had the choice of being in chains or free, most likely he would have chosen freedom. But the attitude that so often prevails is “I will just stay where I am this must be God’s will for me”. When circumstances are poor there is nothing wrong with trying to change your circumstances. God’s will for us is not for us to be miserable! He wants us to experience life in its fullest. When we settle on one thing we will settle on others. And if we are settling, are we living up to the potential that God has placed on us? Or are we going to let the enemy keep us down because we chose not to fight?

I will feel contentment:
In knowing that God is sovereign.
In knowing that he has a plan for me through all this.
In possibly never knowing why this is happening to me.

But I will also do my best to glorify my maker and honor Him in not giving up on being the best that I can be in the midst of suffering. I will often be unhappy when I am vomiting from the motion sickness, writhing from the muscle cramps and headaches, and quite simply when I am unable to drink a glass of water without spilling on myself. But please God help me if I ever become content in accepting misery as fate and settling for less than what you have planned for me.