Giving up what I thought I had

Over the last few days Sherawn and I have been taking a big first step. We went to a place with which we were not familiar, with people we didn’t know and then proceeded to leave our child with them. Felicia is attending her very first Vacation Bible School. This may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people. She was in a church that was highly recommended by people we trust. The large group of volunteers seemed to be fairly organized with plans in place to ensure the safety of the children. They had 3 nurses working who were available if any kind of health issue should arise. A check out process for the kids to avoid any kind of predatory issues. Color specific t-shirts for the different ages to avoid mix-ups in the classes.


So if everything is in place so well what is it that makes Sherawn and I feel like we are throwing our child to the wolves?


We have been blessed over the last 5+ years to spend an amount of time with our little girl that many would and probably should envy. While these years have not been easy because of things like; being home the first year not because we had the money saved or vacation time but instead because I had a back injury that kept me off my feet. The occasional month here week there from changing jobs/being unemployed. And Sherawn taking these years off of work to be a stay at home mom. All of these scenarios have resulted in some form of discomfort both physically and more so financially. Statistics show quite clearly that money is the leading cause for divorce so you can imagine the stress involved there. Physical challenges are for the most part uncontrollable or completely unavoidable leaving a person feeling terribly out of control. That all being said one thing we were always able to control is the care of and welfare of our daughter.
We have some pretty strong feelings about how we should be raising our daughter. She was not allowed to watch TV before the age of 2. We rarely allow for junk food in the house so if she wants a treat she goes most often for carrots or fruit. We are constantly working with her on setting a strong foundation in her faith. And to the best of our ability modeling what it means to walk the walk of a Christ follower. We have a hands on approach to parenting and, although willingly, that approach has required sacrifice.


This time that we have had with Felicia has been the one thing that either of us has viewed as a constant. With the advent of VBS we have to go outside our comfort zone. That is why we feel like we are feeding wolves. We have to trust someone else for the well being of our little girl. WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL! AAAARRGGH!

In dealing with this issue it has dawned on me just how much of everything I do is out of my control. In my last post I talked about giving things up that I knew were out of my control. Now I have been trying to give up something I thought I had some control in. God by definition is Sovereign. That means he is in charge of EVERYTHING. If God were to give up part of His control, no matter how small, God would at that point cease to be omnipresent, omnipotent, sovereign, etc. That will never happen. So why then do I insist that I have any kind of control? And should I just give up on everything and just let God take care of it? Hmm…tough questions. Questions that would take up far more discussion than the confines of a blog. (A blog that admittedly tends to be kind of wordy. Sorry about that.) So I will try to give a Cliff Notes version.


First: God doesn’t want us to just give up. We are called to be good stewards of that with which we have been entrusted. Remembering always though that our “stuff” is not ours it is God’s. He is just letting us use it for a while.


Second: Our life is not our own. God didn’t put us on this planet for us to think about us. We are here to glorify God.

Third: Fighting as hard as you can to gain control from God is an exercise in futility. In the battle of You vs. God, You are going to lose.


So what do we do with this? Try not to think about life with you as the puppet with God holding the strings. Instead God asks us to walk with Him. Seek His will for your life, lean not on your own understanding, & trust that God is who he says he is and wants what is best for you.


Don’t view your life in the way that I had as a first instinct to bringing Felicia into VBS. The instinct to take her and put her in a bubble and never let her out into the big bad world. Yes Sherawn and I are called to raise Felicia and watch over her, ultimately though God is the one who is really the Father. My job is to raise Felicia in the way that God would have her raised. This is the principle we need to have in all aspects of our lives like health, jobs, and in the general purpose for our lives. Although our initial human nature will want to push back, and I know this is not always an easy task, let God have control without putting up a fight. Pray, read the Bible, guard your heart from the workings of the enemy, and dedicate every day to the one who made it. You and I will achieve so much more, in a more peaceful state, free of worry and fear. And that sounds pretty good to me.

Now if I can just remember to read this post again in the fall when Felicia starts kindergarten.